Night of the Restless Scott
by batman100
Summary: Ever wonder what happens when Jean overdoes it on sleeping pills? And what happens when Scott and Lance take things a little overboard? Read this bizarrely funny story and find out! Viewer discretion advised!


**Night of the Restless Scott**

It was a beautiful and cold Tuesday night at the X-Mansion, and everything was peaceful and quiet…

"ZAP! Woohoo! Two points!" Scott's voice rang out in the arcade hall

Well…not quite everything

"Scott! Would you shut off that racket?! Do you have **any** idea what time it is?!" Jean hollered, barging into the arcade room wearing her bathrobe and her mud mask

"Uh…Happy Hour Friday?" Scott asked, with a goofy look

"Why do I even **bother** putting up with this…" Jean moaned before facing him "Scott: Let me ask you a few trivia questions."

"Ooh boy! Do I earn money if I guess right?" Scott whooped

"No." Jean answered with a deadpan expression

"Free car with a hot chick?" Scott asked joyfully

"NO! **ANYTHING** BUT THAT!" Jean thundered, with a fiery look

"Uh…a photograph of Cindy Crawford?" Scott asked insanely as Jean banged her head against the wall

"Ok, forget the stupid trivia questions: How many fingers am I holding up?" Jean asked exasperatedly, holding up four fingers in front of Scott

"Uh…two plus two equals four?" Scott asked goofily

"WRONG!" Jean thundered as Scott rolled on the floor, laughing in hysterics

"Oh man! That was awesome! Hey, have you considered acting? That's good!" Scott giggled maniacally

"Excuse me…" Jean groaned, popping sleeping pills into her mouth

two minutes later…

"Oh man. That was so funny back there, huh Jean? Jean?" Scott asked, looking for Jean, only to see a familiar stroke of red hair on the staircase

Scott found Jean, snoozing heavily on the top of the staircase, loudly snoring, her hair dangled long, a bit of foam coming out of her mouth.

"Whoa…Guess she overdid it on them sleeping pills." Scott remarked in amazement

"Hey Scott, what's going on?" Lance asked before seeing Jean and looking at Scott, back at Jean and again at Scott

"WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU **DO**?!" Lance gasped in horror

"Lance?! Keep it down! And no, I did **not** do anything! Jean took them sleeping pills again, then she muttered incoherently for like a couple of hours, before she collapsed on the top of the steps, oh and…you're stepping on my foot." Scott added, finishing his rant

"So let me see if I got this mumbo-jumbo straight…Jean took one a' them sleep pills, right?" Lance asked

"Mm-hmm." Scott answered

"Then she just dropped on the stairs, right?" Lance asked, putting two and two

"Yep." Scott answered calmly

"That's…the most **silliest** thing I've **ever** heard!" Lance snapped, clamping his hand over Scott's mouth

"The hell you doing, you wanna get us arrested! It'll be a disaster!" Scott rambled madly

"Would you shut up?!" Lance hissed, throttling Scott savagely

"Whatta we do? Whatta we do?" Scott babbled

"We gotta move Jean before anyone sees it." Lance whispered deranged

"What?! No way, uh-uh, we are **not** burying Jean?! She's fine, for God's sakes?!" Scott griped

"Shut up. Now help me get Jean into her room…quietly." Lance said, emphasizing on the last sentence

"This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.." Scott muttered

"I heard that wise guy!" Lance snapped

Later…

"Lance? Did you **really** have to gag Jean so she wouldn't say anything?!" Scott whined, carrying Jean upstairs through the winding floors of the mansion with Lance holding Jean's feet

"It was the only motive so she wouldn't blab. Now quit whining and help me here. And put some muscle into it, for crying out loud!" Lance griped as Scott weakly supported Jean

"Jean's **not** gonna be happy when she finds out about this…" Scott whimpered

"Oh would you…Scott, seriously! Just grow up, for God's sakes?! Sheesh, she's your wife!" Lance snapped

"What does that have anything to do with this crazy idea?!" Scott griped

"Because, Scott: You just gotta handle yourself, toughen up; or them gals will walk all over you." Lance boasted

"Gee…that actually felt kinda motivating." Scott replied, with a goofy grin

"Good. Now shut your mouth and help me with the elevator." Lance ordered, as they entered the elevator

"Scott, you idiot! Hold the door!" Lance shouted

"What?" Scott asked incredulously

"Jean's foot's stuck in the damn door!" Lance snapped, trying to loosen it, but to no avail

"Oh great…Scott, get your lovey-dovey ass over here and help me get your wife's foot outta this thing, **now**!" Lance ordered

"Ok." Scott answered goofily

"Ugh…How did I get into this mess?" Lance groaned

"Wanna play twenty questions?" Scott asked

"AAARRRGH!" Lance screamed in annoyance

The next morning…

"WHAT THE_" Kitty gasped in confusion when she saw Lance, Scott and Jean in the elevator

"Kitty…Would you slowly tell us what transpired on the evening of Wednesday the twelfth?" Hank asked, wearing a fitting judge's robe.

"So here I was: Listening to my Adele music while I was in the hot tub. Then I heard some loud noises from the arcade, followed by some loud laughter, which probably came from Scott. Then I heard some loud shouting, which I think was from Lance…Now when I got up, I was heading toward the elevator, and…" Kitty paused on her story of the strange events that occurred last night as Logan, Peter, Bobby, Kurt, Rogue, Remy, Emma, and Hank were listening eagerly

"Go on dear, what happened next?" Hank asked gently

"Well…I saw Lance and Scott, sleeping on the elevator, slouched like a couple of hobos out of some weird cult film. But what was most bizarre was I saw **Jean** totally zonked out, thanks to those sleep pills, barefoot, her sandals in her laundry basket, I'm not even gonna ask, oh and she was snoring pretty loudly, if that was that loud grinding sound was last night." Kitty remarked, finishing her testimony

"That's **ridiculous**." Logan grouched, making a dismissive grunt

"What, do you think I saw the Abominable Snowman?!" Kitty snapped

"Ask a stupid question…" Remy moaned, rolling his eyes

"Ohhh…my head. What in the hell happened last night? And…who painted my fingernails with glitter paint?" Jean asked in confusion as the X-Gang turned to Lance and Scott

"Tell you what: Let's keep that our…*little* secret, ok?" Scott asked sheepishly


End file.
